A Wedding, a Wife and a New Life

A few weeks of pre- and post-wedding radio silence and I am back. And sitting in the BYU library, of all places. I can't tell if it feels awkward to be here because I've been graduated for 6 years, or if it feels awkward because now I'm one of those married people on campus. I happen to be recruiting attendees for our BYUPAS event in May, although I'd venture to guess nobody cares about that. Let's talk about the wedding! 

My mother and I managed to pull off a rockin' wedding-turned-New-Year's-Eve-party. And for the first 3 days of our honeymoon Adam and I couldn't stop talking about how much we loved it. I kept flashing pictures of our wedding to Adam on my iPhone and we took turns gushing over them. We wondered if something was wrong with us - to be so preoccupied about something that happened in 30 degree weather in Ohio while we were currently sitting on a beach in Puerto Rico - but then we just decided that we had a seriously awesome wedding, and continued to talk about how much we loved it. 

When we found ourselves with both sets of parents last Friday night at a Rolling Stones cover band concert in Park City we had to face the stunning realization that the official honeymoon was over. But unofficially, many honeymoon-like adventures are before us. Most of them we have yet to discover - like where we are going to live when we move to New York on Monday - but I know that everything will be great because I will be with Adam. And he is my Most Very Favorite Person in the Entire World.  

There are so many thoughts swimming around in my head. About our wedding day, our honeymoon, our marriage and our love. I will post more soon. But I had to get a few key things out of the way first - like clearing out 800 unread emails in my inbox, unsubscribing from wedding emails, adding "Benton" to the end of my name in gmail and deleting my Twitter account. Priorities, people. 

Our Concrete Jungle

It's Sunday night and I'm not on a bus. And Adam is not on a bus. It is a miracle. This weekend I officially moved to New York. It won't last long, because on Wednesday we are driving to Ohio for Christmas and our wedding. We won't be back in NYC until the end of January, but the point is - I moved. I left DC. And it feels right. Especially right now. Because right now I am currently perched on Adam's bed, updating my blog, while Adam crams out his last final. I am staring at the back of his head and it couldn't be a more glorious sight. Us. Here. Together. On a Sunday night. Shout it from the rooftops!

I have planned as much as I possibly can, but truthfully, I have no idea what is in store. Last week we had a place to live, but three days ago that fell through. Last Friday, in the midst of developing a wicked cold while moving my stuff into a storage unit in DC because we don't have a place to live, and after a failed attempt at using a $2 coupon (wait for it) MY CAR GOT TOWED. The result was a full-on Stephanie meltdown. Big time meltdown. Like, my face was on the cement and I was sobbing/hyperventilating for 20 minutes straight. This kind of meltdown probably should have waited until after the wedding. We aren't even laughing about it yet because we still don't have a place to live and the wedding to-do list isn't really any shorter. 

When my roommate Kim bailed us out and drove us to the tow place I told her that I felt like I hadn't even moved and I felt like New York was already screwing me over. She said, "Oh Stephanie, c'mon, New York's been screwing you over for years." 

So true. Thank you, Kim, for putting things into perspective for me. 

But tonight, none of that matters. I am so happy to be in the city that I love-hate, with the man I love-love. My new home. (Wherever that technically lands us. Hopefully somewhere on the Upper West Side between 96 and 116th.)

A Memoir of Capitol Hill

 My first experience on Capitol Hill - interning for my Congressman in the spring of 2005.

As I have said and one could well assume, there are many firsts in my life right now. There are also many lasts. Today is one of the lasts: It is my last day working as a Congressional staffer. It has been five years. I will miss this place dearly.

It took a pretty significant proposal - a marriage proposal, in fact - to get me off this Hill. I have sat up here on my high Hill (figuratively, of course), completely unwilling to leave until a better offer - a MUCH better offer - came my way. Why? Because working here is awesome.

This place has been so good to me. I made a little career for myself in which I was able to mesh my interest in politics with my talent and formal education in communications. I have seen the inner-workings of the legislative process - both glamorous, unglamorous, grueling and rewarding. I have made life long friends. I have loved it.

We used to laugh when my wise and wonderful old roommate Sarah, a lawyer by trade, would say that she loved the law. Well, after five years of working within the legislative branch, I can unequivocally say that I love the legislative process. I love our country, and I love what Capitol Hill stands for.

You may have noticed that you can't just walk into any building in Washington, DC. It's very difficult to get a tour of the White House and if you're even thinking about walking into one of the Administration buildings you might as well turn around inside the lobby because that's about as far as you're going to get.

But when you go to the Capitol - or any of its corresponding House or Senate office buildings - you will notice that they are open to the public. You have to go through a metal detector to get into the office buildings and you must be escorted by staff or on an official tour to get into the Capitol, but these buildings are OPEN. They are open to the public because they are here to serve the public. Your votes determine the lawmakers that reside in those halls, and they are in a very real sense accountable to you.

I like to remind people (especially Ohioans) that I work for THEM. I do not work for President Obama. I do not even work for the government really. (Although I do observe most federal holidays.) I work for the people. It is a privilege to be a citizen of our great nation, and with that privilege comes the responsibility of electing a governing body to represent you. Kind of awesome, right? These are the kinds of rights people die for in other parts of the world.

I have had some incredible opportunities over the last five years, simply by being a Capitol Hill staffer. And my most favorite memories have come from hearing lectures from some of the people I admire and have only dreamed of meeting in person.

Two of the most significant speakers I heard were Ari Fleischer and Dana Perino, both of whom served as press secretary to President Bush (Ari from '01-03 and Dana from '07-09). They both spoke at separate times to a group of Capitol Hill press secretaries of which I belong (belonged?). One thing they both said was that, while they were grateful for the incredible opportunity to serve in Bush's administration, their favorite job was being a Capitol Hill press secretary. They both smiled with such delight recalling their days on the Hill and gave invaluable advice for dealing with reporters and handling the media.

I am not even fully separated from the experience and nostalgia has already set in. I will miss this place. I will miss freely roaming the halls. I will miss working with reporters and drafting statements for Senators and Congressmen and writing things that my boss ends up saying on the Senate or House floor. It is work, but it has been really fun work.

Sorry I just totally geeked out there for a second. But the point is, if you get a chance, come visit DC and meet your Congressman. Find your Congressman on Facebook and Twitter and follow him/her. Check in on them regularly. Know how they vote and decide how you would like them to vote. Go to your local city council and school board and see what kind of decisions they are making in your community. And if you are still in college or know someone in college, encourage them to do an internship in Washington. You/they will never regret it.

Now I'll get down off my Capitol Hill and start the next chapter of my life.

Sugar Highs and Photo Shoots

Have you been to my favorite cupcake place in New York? It's called Baked by Melissa and they sell bite size cupcakes that are to die for. A new location opened on the Upper West Side last month and suddenly moving to NYC doesn't seem so hard anymore. 

In wedding news, our announcements are out! Yours should be coming in the mail shortly. I also made us a wedding website, which you can view at www.sonksenbentonwedding.com. 

I thought about listing all the ways I'm being a responsible bride and getting things done. But then I decided that sometimes people just want to see pictures, and that sounded a lot easier right now.

We did two photo shoots - one in Old Town, Alexandria and one in New York. Very diplomatic of us. The announcement photo we chose was from our NYC shoot, but we loved some of the shots from the Old Town shoot (pictures by the beautiful and talented Ashlee Berry). Here are my three of my favorites: 

Highlights from the NYC shoot still to come... (hopefully this isn't another empty blog promise.) 

Matthew 6:21

I went to New York this past weekend. Adam and I ran wedding errands almost the entire time - looking at apartments, taking engagement pictures, going over addresses for invitations, coordinating schedules, planning our honeymoon, discussing what couple friends we want in NYC... etc, etc, etc.

Sunday morning we bolted out the door to walk through another apartment, then we rushed off to church. I was starving so we stopped and bought a bagel (because, at least for the next two months, I'm still technically an out-of-towner, right?). Rush, rush, rush... plan, plan, plan... do, do, do... check, check, check...

And then we got to church... and I sobbed through the last 30 minutes of sacrament meeting. Seriously, if you saw me on Sunday, you probably thought something was really wrong with me. Adam tried to assure the curious onlookers (namely the bishopric) that I was just really feeling the Spirit. Which was true.

There are so many good things happening in my life right now. I am going through the temple on Saturday. My last day of work is next Tuesday. I am moving to New York sometime soon. I am getting married in 46 days. I am full of emotions that run the gamut.

Everything came to a pinnacle during the second talk in sacrament meeting: on covenants and the endowment. (She quoted this talk.) I couldn't have asked for a better talk to remind me of the very important step that I am taking on Saturday. I was reminded of not just the sacrifices but the blessings that will come. I was reminded that I have spent my whole life preparing for this day. I was reminded that I am so excited - not for a wedding - but for my future.

I didn't deserve to feel such an abundance of the Spirit right then. I hadn't prepared for church, hadn't read my scriptures for a few days, and had instead spent the last two days worrying only about how my hair looked in pictures and what outfits I would wear for my engagement photos (because, you know, these pictures will last a lifetime). The weekend prior I had dedicated 3 days and a free flight to finding a wedding dress on the other side of the country (I found one!). I am not even used to sharing this much about myself on my blog.

Needless to say, the past few weeks I have shirked my duties as a Christian to serve God and love my neighbor. And still, God blessed me abundantly when I needed it most and deserved it the least. It was mercy in its finest form. I was humbled, immensely grateful and frighteningly weepy.

Sometimes in my very feeble attempts to "serve others" I have left feeling slightly drained, as if I've neglected myself for a space of time. But the last few weeks have been a testament to me that doing things for yourself is the real unfulfilling and tiring act. I don't need all this "me" time, and I don't really like the way it has distracted me. I thought I would bask in the glory of these photo shoots and shopping sprees. And for the most part, I think I've risen to the occasion. But I am glad that my life isn't always like this. Wedding planning will absolutely be worth it when, at the end of it all, Adam and I are married and we can celebrate with our family and dearest friends. But last weekend was a good reminder of what should really matter in life.

Matt 6:21 - "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Pinterest My (Wedding) Interest

 

I just discovered Pinterest and created a board about my NYE wedding. This is exactly what a girl who's head has been in politics for 5 years needs to get the creative juices flowing. 

p.s. Let me know if you want board posting privileges and I'll add you!

New Year's Eve 2011

On New Year's Eve I will drink a Diet Coke (my first one all year)...

and...

GET MARRIED! 

 Hooray for marriage!

We finally set a date, and are now 65 days away from saying "I Do." I never thought I'd be that short-engagement type, but as it turns out, as soon as you decide to get married, you just want to get married. And, because it's on New Year's Eve, my colors will be "sparkles." It will be like my golden birthday all over again! Although I hope it's less gaudy.

Also, after hitting a few dress stores in the DC area, I have found virtually none that work for me. My mom and I have decided on taking an emergency trip to Utah next weekend and hopefully I will be able to Say Yes to the Dress. Any suggestions for the best bridal salons in Utah? C'mon ladies, I need you on this one...

Fear the Face

We have a photo on our common drive at work. It is titled "STEPHANIE IS MAD."

And anytime one of our co-workers screws up, they get an email telling them how they screwed up. And then at the end it says, "STEPHANIE IS MAD," with this picture attached. 

It actually works. Some people are actually scared of me. Go figure.

We were just testing out the camera and that is the face I decided to use. I didn't know I could look so angry. Adam swears he's seen this face...

How It Happened, What I Said, And What I Wore When I Said It.

Given that it was our 1-year anniversary of dating, celebrations were already in order. Sneaky. I was greeted by 2 dozen red roses when I got home from work last Friday, and 2 dozen more when we got to dinner at Fogo de Chao. But like the practical and unassuming woman that I am, I didn't think too much of it. Like Garrette said, I wasn't thinking "engagement" I was thinking "All you can eat meat." 

By the end of dinner I had really bad hiccups. Like, drunk girl hiccups. It is a problem of mine. Adam tried to feed me bogus riddles, saying that getting your mind off the hiccups cures them. I told him that was stupid, and that the only way I can get rid of them is by drinking water upside-down, which was clearly not appropriate at this restaurant.

I was still hiccuping my guts out as Adam drove us over to the National Mall, parked, and led me to the middle of it all - and my favorite view in DC. I love seeing the U.S. Capitol lit up on one side and the Washington Monument on the other. It is a breathtaking view, every time. It wasn't until that moment, when he actually started saying really nice things, that I clued in.

He took a deep breath and bent down on one knee. He pulled a box out of his pocket and illuminated it with his newly-purchased flashlight iPhone app. Inside was a beautiful, pear shaped ring. He said my full name when he asked me to marry him.

I said, "Yes. Of course!"

Then added, "You got rid of my hiccups!"

And then I started to giggle-cry. I think it is the best combination, actually. Real tears convey real meaning but giggles mean that everything is still ok. And everything is SO ok that you are actually moved to tears.

All the things Adam had been keeping from me for the past few weeks came pouring out like a bad confession session. How he secretly asked my dad two weeks ago in Ohio over ice cream after the Priesthood session of General Conference (he liked the formality of wearing a tie because it seemed akin to an interview anyway). How he'd looked at 30 different diamonds in NYC and special ordered and designed this ring for me based off a pictured I'd shown him in passing months and months ago. How he actually had the ring shipped to my house, addressed to my roommate who works from home, although upon discovering she wasn't home that week he jumped on a bus to come and intercept the package. I just thought he really missed me and came early.

Then we drove to Georgetown and had frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity. It represented the end of our courtship and the beginning of our life together. We toasted ourselves and our future. And when we got back to my house he gave me one last bouquet of 2 dozen red roses. Because, he said, he wanted me to wake up everyday this week and remember that he loves me and that we are getting married.

Life hardly ever turns out the way we plan. And yet, I feel like everything I have found in my relationship with Adam has been exactly what I always knew I wanted.

I think the only thing I didn't plan was how this happiness would feel, because I never even knew this kind of happy existed.

This is the best ring shot I've got, unfortunately. 

Not that it really matters or anyone really cares, but I think it's worth noting that the day after we got engaged we went back to the spot where it all happened and recreated it for pictures. Hence, the proposal picture I posted on Monday. Huge thanks to Noelle and Matt for biking DC with us and taking our pic! We also didn't tell anyone until the next day, which was also fun. It was our little secret for 12 hours.

A Very Purposeful Post

What is the opposite of a pointless post? This is. 

And if the ring wasn't enough, I also have 72 long-stemmed red roses in my room to remind me that I'm marrying the man of my dreams.